Living fully in the present moment is far more disorienting than advertised. Don’t get me wrong – I feel great. But I have lost my familiar landmarks. When unconstrained by time and space, my boundaries bleed seamlessly into some universal pool so I can't quite feel any ground beneath my feet. If I'm One with the dang cosmos, then where do I reside on the map? And if I can't punch in my point of origin, then it totally messes with the whole concept of "direction," let alone the familiar process of setting a course. Seems all backwards now: I used to be tethered to an evolutionary past, using previous experience to guide my next journey. And I got pretty good at self-reflection, goal-setting, planning then doing. But now I’m all glorious imagination, dancing from this moment to any of a zillion new desires. And I can’t find my starting point. Hell, I can’t even find the atlas.
I'm pretty sure it’s all gone … the map, the linear plane, the sequence of logical events … I suspect those things have always been an illusion. But, sheesh, this totally messes with skills I’ve honed for eons, not to mention mucking with the brain chemical that helps me find my hotel in a strange city ...
I am exhilarated, to be sure. But this is a huge change, and the new learning curve is making me kind of dizzy.
