Apparently I've been really pissed off on the causal plane.
Went to see Joanne Williams, my dear powerful energy healer, to clear up a curious fact that my financial shape stagnates despite increased earnings. John came, too, figuring they're family finances, plus we thought a joint session would be fun. I laid on the mattress in Joanne's Spartan living room as she pressed a sore spot on the upper left part of my chest. And Voila, she found an image of me, standing alone in the causal plane. Really pissed.
According to Joanne, the causal plane is where manifestation begins. Desires, intentions, ideas, passion, purpose ... they all happen elsewhere, but once coalesced, they actually leap into reality from the causal ledge.
And evidently my leap has been stalled, and I'm none too happy about it. I'm a Fixer, wildly enthusiastic (and pretty damn competent) at cleaning up the aftermath, helping to envision and fuel a brand new life. But we're dallying too much, wallowing in our broken existence instead of letting it go to start fresh. There isn't a shred of credible evidence that says oil, coal, and "natural" gas extraction and use will sustain us ad infinitem. Yet we stay dependent, in our daily habits, our political choices, and even our anger when inevitable disasters strike. We haven't had a "productive" war in 65 years, either (or in millenia, depending on the definition of "productive"), yet we continue to invest the majority of our financial, intellectual, cultural, and emotional capital in our war zeitgeist. Americans have some of the worst health care outcomes and highest costs when compared to our global peers, yet we ignore simple and effective alternatives. We enjoy less and work & dread financial peril more than almost everyone on the planet, yet collectively we don't walk away from a bankrupt system of credit, finance "investment," employment and productivity.
I came here to support wind farm cooperatives and wide-scale solar energy legislation. I have been waiting eons to help build monument upon monument honoring peace, tranquility and beauty, creating eternal flames of compassion where those war statues once stood. I was born to facilitate universal systems of universal health, uniting doctors, hospital administrators, patients, therapists, and "althernative" folks in new paradigms of well-being. And I know with every breath that we are supposed to find joy each and every day, laughing with our kids, roaring at a soccer victory, painting a canvas, hiking a trail, curing a disease, building a home, sharing a meal ...
Instead, I was languishing on the causal plane, awaiting an unrealized reality, and furious with the delay. (We all laughed pretty hard when John suggested my angry impatience might have leaked some into this plane, too.)
So Joanne cleared away the pissed part, said Good never comes from the vibration of anger. And reminded me that reality and action emanate from our internal selves, not necessarily from external circumstances. I feel subtly lighter, my surprising new patience oddly blended with self-permission just to go ahead and do what I came here to do.
Which I've decided starts with a really great party on that causal plane.