I know it's been ages ...

I've spent the last month in one small North Carolina town after another asking people about mental health, substance abuse, and developmental disability services in their area.  My sense of it all is way too mixed to describe succinctly, so here are my ramblings ...

First of all, it was a job -- I was hired to help half dozen agencies determine service needs, and I make a point of always feeling honored and disciplined when working for any of my clients.  Plus these are great agencies. 

Second, I'm always awed when I spend time with folks navigating lives far more challenging than mine:  schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, alcohol and drug addictions ... these are some of the toughest diseases we have, recovery requires active decisions and participation every single day, one day at a time.  I suspect I would get far more discouraged if I wore their shoes.  But without exception the folks I interviewed said they want the same things my friends & I want:  meaningful work; education; opportunities to volunteer and feel part of their communities; the ability to live self-sufficiently; good health care; an affordable chance to join a gym, go to the movies, and socialize with their friends.  I was regularly reminded the stuff that can wig out my little ol' simple life is really trivial in the big scheme of things.  Reminds me to be grateful about everything.

Third, I could feel the stigma.  We bend over backwards to help those with diabetes or heart disease or cancer.  But see someone on the corner muttering to herself and we can't cross that street fast enough.  Never occurs to us this is a disease.  We're uncomfortable when illnesses affect the brain as opposed to the heart or the lungs or our endocrine system.  We wouldn't dream of denying proven treatments to a diabetic and telling her to stay out of sight and just get over it.  But we do that all the time to folks with mental and addiction disorders.  Plus, we call them "crazy."      

And finally, many of these communities really are dying.  The whole month I had this eerie sensation I was on the front-lines of a dying empire.  Less and less money for services -- that don't even really cost a whole lot to begin with and have oodles of research demonstrating success.  Fewer & fewer infrastructure resources -- virtually no public transportation, little support, few community centers, no decent, affordable housing.  Large businesses left years ago and now the educators, doctors, social workers, and 20-somethings looking for decent jobs & lifestyles are fleeing.  Everyone else -- not just those with disabilities -- is falling through the cracks. We're spending trillions of dollars on the Iraq fiasco, underwriting huge corporations with questionable public return-on-investment, while huge numbers of small, local communities are plain dying.

Back home I'm sorting through the data, for my reports and for my life.