Not So Grounded

Coming Clean

I rarely get comments about my column Grounded in All About Women.  Okay the rare exceptions were John's and my wedding photos (my editor's idea since our wedding was the day my column was due and I had only kindasorta written part of it).  And a few months later when I wrote what I affectionately refer to as "OMG, I'm such a bitch!" essay (Download LetGoAllow.doc).  But this months seems to have hit something 'cause I'm getting compliments from strangers.  Someone even asked Darling Daughter if she'd read it, to which she replied, "No 'cause I looked at the title, "Coming Clean" and I really didn't want to know what my Mom was coming clean about this month ..." 

Anyway, I'm not a compliment hound or anything, but the comments just seem to reinforce an overall impression that the whole world seems to be going woo-woo.  I'm sure I'm exaggerating, but it's kinda alot of people nonetheless.

Which leads to our last Woo Woo Wednesday which somehow got to be all about Time.  That the very nature and frequency of time is changing.  It's different from our perception that time's just speeding up, getting more breathless.  Rather, time's actual cycles per second are increasing which will cause the qualities, tenor and characteristics of time to change.

I haven't a clue what that means, except we were told that time is essential and today is already tomorrow.  Which suggests we're best off living right now the life we most dream of, grabbing tight to those imaginings that bring us the most peace.

(It also reminds me of one of my memorable books, Einstein's Dreams, by MIT physicist & writing prof Alan Lightman.  Set in Berne, Switzerland in 1905, each of the 30 short chapters describes a different quality of time dreamt each night by Einstein the young patent clerk.)

Of course, it also reminds me that it's way too late for a middle-aged mom to be awake so I'm off to bed ...   

Take Back the Night & Our Highest & Best Selves

A friend and colleague, Christine Sita Dave, wrote and spoke these words at a recent Take Back the Night event in our town.  Several of us thought it should be posted, so I offered this blog. 

DEAREST HIGHER SELF,

            I AM NO LONGER THIS CHILD THAT WAS BEATEN BY A HUMAN FATHER. THAT WITNESSED COUNTLESS ABUSES TO MOTHER, BROTHER AND SISTERS.

            

I AM NO LONGER GRIEVING THE DEATH OF A PHYSICAL MOTHER.

            

I AM NO LONGER THE 16 YEARS OF AGE PERSON THAT WAS RAPED BY A MALE RELATIVE.

            

I AM NO LONGER A PHYSICAL BODY TO BE USED BY PHYSICAL BEINGS.

            

I AM NO LONGER THIS PAST HISTORY OF SUFFERING WITHIN SPIRIT AND SOUL.

                     

I AM NO LONGER MY IN-LAWS' NEMESIS OF NEGATIVITY CONNECTIONS.

I AM NO LONGER BOUND BY KARMIC ACTIONS.

            

I AM NO LONGER UNSEEN IN MY PURPOSEFUL WORK – OFFERED DIVINELY AND INSPIRED DIVINELY.

            

I AM A CHILD OF GENTLE AND LOVING GODS AND GODDESSES.

            

I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING THAT EXISTS TO OFFER WHAT HUMANITY HAS SUFFERED AND TURN THAT SUFFERING INTO A GARLAND OF BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.

            

I AM THE LIGHT, I AM LIGHT. I SHINE WITH ALL RADIANCE GOD HAS OFFERED TO MY SPIRIT SOUL.

            

I AM, I AM, I EXIST.

          

I, I, I, AND HE ARE TOTALLY ONE TOGETHER, NOW AND ALWAYS.

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN.

WITH SHANTI AND NAMASKAR TO INNER DIVINE SELF.

GO IN PEACE. 

      

I know it's been ages ...

I've spent the last month in one small North Carolina town after another asking people about mental health, substance abuse, and developmental disability services in their area.  My sense of it all is way too mixed to describe succinctly, so here are my ramblings ...

First of all, it was a job -- I was hired to help half dozen agencies determine service needs, and I make a point of always feeling honored and disciplined when working for any of my clients.  Plus these are great agencies. 

Second, I'm always awed when I spend time with folks navigating lives far more challenging than mine:  schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, alcohol and drug addictions ... these are some of the toughest diseases we have, recovery requires active decisions and participation every single day, one day at a time.  I suspect I would get far more discouraged if I wore their shoes.  But without exception the folks I interviewed said they want the same things my friends & I want:  meaningful work; education; opportunities to volunteer and feel part of their communities; the ability to live self-sufficiently; good health care; an affordable chance to join a gym, go to the movies, and socialize with their friends.  I was regularly reminded the stuff that can wig out my little ol' simple life is really trivial in the big scheme of things.  Reminds me to be grateful about everything.

Third, I could feel the stigma.  We bend over backwards to help those with diabetes or heart disease or cancer.  But see someone on the corner muttering to herself and we can't cross that street fast enough.  Never occurs to us this is a disease.  We're uncomfortable when illnesses affect the brain as opposed to the heart or the lungs or our endocrine system.  We wouldn't dream of denying proven treatments to a diabetic and telling her to stay out of sight and just get over it.  But we do that all the time to folks with mental and addiction disorders.  Plus, we call them "crazy."      

And finally, many of these communities really are dying.  The whole month I had this eerie sensation I was on the front-lines of a dying empire.  Less and less money for services -- that don't even really cost a whole lot to begin with and have oodles of research demonstrating success.  Fewer & fewer infrastructure resources -- virtually no public transportation, little support, few community centers, no decent, affordable housing.  Large businesses left years ago and now the educators, doctors, social workers, and 20-somethings looking for decent jobs & lifestyles are fleeing.  Everyone else -- not just those with disabilities -- is falling through the cracks. We're spending trillions of dollars on the Iraq fiasco, underwriting huge corporations with questionable public return-on-investment, while huge numbers of small, local communities are plain dying.

Back home I'm sorting through the data, for my reports and for my life.

New Ventures

It seems I'm starting several new businesses, which -- I gotta say -- are exceptionally time consuming but oh such a blast.  I've been an organizational consultant near 20 years, but 'till now have always purposely stayed away from expanding my own endeavors any larger than just me selling my own time & expertise. 

But awholebuncha stars have aligned or something and suddenly these really cool things are falling into place.  I'll write more details when I actually have some and when it's not 10:25 pm & my old self ain't so tired.  But mostly right now I'm floating along the serendipity of it all.  The universe's ability to take my simple decision -- that I want to expand my professional life & my income and flex some rusty innate skills -- and create a slew of new open doors & windows, things I never would've imagined just a month ago. 

Of course, early on I did tell my best friend I needed an assistant and so (of course) she found me the absolutely perfect person within 5 minutes.  (Yup, the same amazing woman who also found my editor, my husband, and a very comfortable red leather couch -- in that order -- which once again confirms that she ultimately IS one & the same with the universe that waves magic manifesting wands over simple decisions & requests ...)  And so these whole new adventures begin ...  It perpetually reminds me to get clear, ask for help, and then let go for the ride. 

Saturday Night at Home

The kids are sick, the temperature's dropping and the wind speed's increasing, the dogs are restless.  So we gathered around this longer tribute to the local Jimmy Smith Park.  Okay, we laughed through all 9 minutes, which suggests one of a couple of things ...

Yes We Can

At Christmas dinner my father -- unsolicited -- said if Barack Obama became the democratic nominee for President not only would he vote democratic first time in his whole life, but he would also mobilize his friends to do likewise.  I nearly fell off my chair.  I have two degrees in political science and long ago stopped talking politics with him out of respect for family peace. 

I have admired and paid attention to Mr. Obama since his consistent opposition to the Iraq invasion.  But perhaps, really, my support for Mr. Obama is because being able to work side-by-side with my father politically -- politics something that ultimately shapes the core of everything in my life -- means the world to me. 

And, heck, if Obama can inspire dinner-table peace, just imagine what other divides he can bridge ...

In case you haven't seen Yes We Can ... and make sure to scroll through will.i.am's explanation.

Gloria Steinem, Part 1

I promised my editor, Jill Jordan, that I would not blab about my interview with Gloria Steinem until it was published in All About Women.  The issue came out Friday, so now I can gush ....

I've been totally starry-eyed, excited, nervous about it since the first day I discovered she was speaking at ASU and I asked Jill if maybe she could get me an interview.  (Have I mentioned lately, by the way, that Jill is a Goddess?)

And it's been worth all my excited, obsessive, over-preparedness.  I poured through all the written and video information I could find on-line and at the Watauga Public Library, and, so, learned significantly more about her than I previously knew.  Prolific writings.  Front-line activism on behalf of farm workers, progressive candidates, enslaved children, trafficed sex workers.  Founder of two new media organizations just in the last few years.  Still present and inspiring to women of all ages.

But here's the most compelling thing for me ... two weeks ago I sat in this very same chair in my office talking on the phone for 45 minutes with an exceptionally famous woman I have admired long as I can remember.  And she was as gracious, bright, unassuming, and down-to-earth as every other woman I've interviewed for this magazine.  I had just finished another piece about musical creativity -- had talked with 8 local women I also enjoyed and found fascinating.  I realized Ms. Steinem was as real and open as each of them.  Intentionally so.  Despite having every right not to be.

And so I hung up the phone with Ms. Steinem given something I hadn't anticipated, given something a woman of her stature genuinely wasn't obligated to give:  honest, heartfelt respect.  Respect for herself, respect for me, respect for this magazine Jill has lovingly nurtured, respect for her audience ... I realized when she advocates for equality -- whether on the op-ed page of the NY Times, the steps overlooking the famous reflecting pool, or the stage at little ol' Farthing Auditorium, she actually means it.  She actually lives it. 

Woo Woo Wednesday

Okay ... anything worth sharing from these weird -- but extremely fun -- Woo Woo Wednesday night gatherings (scroll down to Jan 22 post) I'll share it on Thursdays. 

Last night was emotions.  Seems us humans are getting some new ones; getting much richer versions of some old standbys like love, ecstasy, and bliss; and expanding the positives from those emotions that traditionally  trip us up, like grief and sadness.  Key message was don't waste time trying to understand & define 'em in standard ways. 

We're pretty obsessed with knowing things intellectually or conceptually, trying to understand, name, categorize, label, or logically define things.  When trying to make sense of stuff, we tend to start by connecting (or jamming) new experiences, emotions, or concepts into old experiences, emotions, or concepts.  Feel new grief and we immediately start by remembering the last time we felt grief, the old then shaping the new. Same thing with love.  A sketchy past romance makes us wary next time around.  Or we try to consciously Do It Differently.  Or we compare & contrast our new love to loves of old.    Learning from experience is wise & not repeating mistakes is smart.  But shoving all new experiences into old boxes can be pretty self-limiting.

So we heard last night that some of our emotions are really brand new gigs.  Unprecedented.  Fresh starts.  Not automatically tied to our linear lifetime of experience & understanding.  They're rich and textured in ways never felt before.  We were advised to keep open to that.  Just feel our new emotions with enough detachment (a) to resist temptation to define them, (b) to allow their unique fullness and (c) to be guided intuitively to do right by them ... that way we invite miraculous surprises, outcomes beyond our current imagination.

I'm figuring, why not ...

European Union's Global Warming Plan

So, why aren't we doing this too? 

Here's a short BBC summary of the EU's plan to reduce emissions.

Don't Worry

Okay, ten of us women have recently formed a weekly group that is still just too much to admit or explain, even to myself.  Suffice to say I currently call it Woo Woo Wednesday, which my family understands means (a) they get to go out to eat without Mom-the-health-food-nazi and (b) I'll come home with yet another couple of really really really weird stories.

I promise, or at least I think maybe possibly I'll eventually promise to be more forthcoming.  But for now I share last week's tidbit:  Quit Worrying.  About everything.  Worry is the one thing that blocks out the divine.  Don't ditch compassion, or empathy, or righteous indignation.  Feel grief and sadness when you must, joy & bliss as often as you can.  And always act when it's meaningful & necessary.

But cut out the worrying part.  The sound of worry is our thickest barrier, the worst of all culprits severing the day-to-day us from that other transcendent us, whatever we want to call it -- god, divinity, higher self, true self, angels, spirit, soul, unconscious (our own or the collective), superego, inner voice, yada yada.  The other "us" that always knows there's nothing to worry about, except can't convey that peace to this "us" until we stop worrying ...   

So quit worrying.  (And if you can't just stop on your own, music's the most efficient way to blast right through it.)  Sing.  Dance.  And be merry instead.