Our Sunday afternoon push didn't happen, but we're working on it anyway.
Chapman's out -- Maddy's not into their annual Broadway style dance-musical. Middlebury's in with all its modern dance. Colorado College has a cool block schedule (one 3.5 week class at a time) but my Denver friend texted the town might not suit Maddy's politics. ("Go straight on Ronald Reagan Blvd. then turn right at the Focus on Family Building ...I'm not kidding.") UCSB's back on the list. U Oregon, too.
Yada yada.
The more I researched, though, the more I felt this weird time crunch, so much too do, so little time. My tight chest worries we're already late.
When Maddy was an infant I decided that at least once a day I would make sure she could do something of her own choosing for as long as she pleased. Nursing, staring at a single page in a colorful book, filling the same pitcher to water the same plant over & over ... Fortunately my boss shared my suspicion that the universe was better served if my toddler could tie her shoes herself, as slowly as necessary, than if we rushed out the door. Mads spent 10 years in Montessori when I learned Maria shared a similar belief.
I'm not sure why I made that commitment, but I quickly recognized its value. First of all, it wasn't a big deal -- not once did she do something so long that I had to cancel my life or shoot myself from sheer boredom.
More importantly, she experienced Time as her ally, merely a law of nature like gravity or propulsion, that provides the intangible space necessary to do something 'till it's done. Acquire a new skill, explore new surroundings, wrestle with an idea, finish a project. No racing against, speeding up, or running for time ... all those futile battles against an enemy we can never defeat.
Instead she learned -- more likely I learned -- that Time can be a good thing if we flow instead of fight. Time is just a neutral space that gently offers a new moment. And if we accept those moments as they come then things seem to unfold exactly when and how they should.
I know college apps have deadlines, and Maddy's maniacal about meeting them. But I hope we allow time to give us all we need in the process.
